Autumns Requiem
by Uwaki Aisu
Summary: Kagome loses so many that she's loved. She is beginning to lose the respect she had so long ago for the world. One person may be able to teach her differently, show her to search one again. Caution: Mature content. Oneshot


daMy story is very...crappy, please forgive it.

disclaimer Nope...do not own the characters, if I did I'd be filthy rich and have a lot more creativity!

Autmns Requiem

Part I: Stories of the Ancient

There was a light drizzle outside, falling leaves were all slowly descending from the dying trees. The backyard had been forgotten for a while, piles of leaves and dead apples lay outside. Bursts of orange, red, yellow, and sometimes even brown dead leaves would show. It soon became a down pour and the strong scent of pine assaulted her nose as the clear droplets fell. First one, then another, then one more, and soon enough a stream was falling as a crystal river formed. So many had been drawn in, engulfed by the sudden darkness taking place. All the loneliness was shining through and as much as they wished to halt any further movement, it increased. They had all been cowards, running, further and further. They were feet pounding against asphalt. More leaves fell, there were only a couple left on the willow tree now. The Earth was sad, like everything else it did not feel like fighting. It too had been drained of energy, worn out and tired of facing the same dilemma's ever day of every forsaken year.

A very few number of snow crystals fell as she longingly stared at them blowing the breeze. The true form of crying had been forgotten long ago. She could no longer cry, cry the way she wanted to cry. To cry with the same passion as the first time the salty liquid reached her flushed cheeks. They had been left behind, again and again. Most of her friends were sullen, finding a way to cope with their daily dosage of broken dreams. Finding comfort in speed, racing, violence, and everything else that could destroy them. They too were out there attempting to seal their wounds with stitches. They had all gone through the best and worst together, but now she doubted their motives. They seemed to be useless husks. Forlorn and oblivious to what went on around them. They seemed to be heading towards a shadow, it paled in comparison to what they had been through.

The gang had woe'ed from a large group of seven to only 3 remaining. She walked into the family room where her family sat there laughing at the ridiculous monkey being shot from a canon.

She wanted to become a part of that again. Somehow she had be comforted by the radiating presence of forgotten territory, her friends had never understood, and now she was beginning to forget. She felt like an ugly duckling in a world of swans.

Although deeply, she knew that she was not alone and never would be. her companions were proof, they were out crashing, searching for speed beyond speed. Maybe they hoped that if they drove fast enough they would surpass and escape all of what the world had burdened upon them.

_Yuki had been killed in a car crash while driving with our other friend, Hojo, her boyfriend. He had hit her once, but she felt like she needed him, so she continued to see him. One night, she drove off the road purposely to kill them both. she couldn't bear to live with herself and especially knowing what he did. There were five of us left after that. _

_Then, Ayumi had been drinking one night, she called me saying that she felt alone, like she didn't have anyone, she said she wanted to leave the world. To leave a good impression before she kicked the can. I pleaded and stayed with her, asking her not to do it. I stayed on the phone with her until her ride was ready to leave. She was found the next morning on his bathroom floor, back against the wall. Blood splattered all over...and a message on the bathroom mirror. 'This is my last impression', it said. I felt guilty for a while, but finally reached a point of agreement with myself._

_Everyone had know Ayumi had a rough life, but we were always there when she needed it. Whenever she needed a place to stay, we would offer our homes. Her father had beaten her mom and she when she was smaller; it got to him finally._

_Now, there were only four of us, the last one to go, you ask? My best friend, Eri. She was the philosopher of the group, always wanting what was best for us. she fell in love and had been rejected many times, but she did not mind it, then three members died and so did what little resolve she had left. She finally turned to alcohol as an answer for her problems, when it no longer served to numb her. She resulted to go on binges, then throw up. She was obsessed with the way she looked, blaming herself for everything. Even the things she obviously had no control over. _

_When I found out about this, I tried helping her, asked to her see a therapist. She did, for two months, and then her mother died. She was found in her tub; drowned. (As one of my earlier reviewers mentioned, yes, this is her TRUE mother, her other mother Mrs. Jarlz is really her foster mother. Jsut thought I should clear that up. Thank you _moonlight-angel2003.

There was a small knock at the girls door, as the door creaked open posters fell from her freshly painted walls, CD's scattered, and empty granola packets crinkled. These were her favorite things.

"Dinner's ready, sweetie. Mrs. Jarlz called, she'll be joining us for dinner. She said she wanted to talk to you. I think she mentioned something about you speaking at Eri's funeral, and saying her Eulogy." her mother spoke silently, maybe hoping her daughter would not her it.

"Ok, tell everyone I'll be down again in a second. I'm just going to go for a quick walk; I need some air." Kagome said trying to hold back empty sobs. If she could not cry for Eri properly, she would not cry at all.

Eri deserved that much.

"Of course, dear. Whatever you need." her mother said as she shuffled from the messy room.

Kagome walked out of her room scuridly and picked up her blue coat, it was her favorite. She walked down through the empty hallway filled with pictures of a happy family. Laughter could still be heard as she quietly closed the door behind her. Walking into the rainy torrent of empty, dimly lit streets, Kagome had thought of all the things that had been going through her mind the past month.

She walked on for a couple of minutes before stopping a moment and turning a block into a dark alley way then though an old, abandoned, burned down warehouse. This had been her only sanctuary. When she had troubles, she'd come to solve them. Not on her own, but with the guidance of wisdom beyond ages.

Kagome felt a cold wind wisp past her, it visibly flushed her lightly tinted cheeks further. Slowly clear became plasma, a pale figure stood before her. This person had been her best friend for the longest time.

_I have never gone a week without speaking to this magnificent creature. Something, a deep pull of loneliness, an aura of pain had called. It must have been a horrible death, to have died with so much hurt, but also a great thing knowing you saved the one you cared for. The kin you helped to create, a part of you. At first, he was reluctant to befriend me, but in time I showed him I was truly here. I soon found out that he had died saving his child from illness. The day she passes away of old age, will be the day he also leaves. He deserves to find her. They have both suffered enough..._

"Eri, she..." sobs threatened to escape once again at the mention of the young girls name. One more word and she would sob uncontrollably.

"I know," he responded, just standing there.

Staring.

For the first time Kagome felt like she could have stopped it. Could have done **something**, anything at all. Anything that could have helped save her best friend, her sister, the once she admired and cared for.

"I could, I could have--"he quickly cut her off.

"You didn't know, she never said anything beforehand. Do not blame yourself, her death is her own to take into account. Not yours." he attempted to comfort her, but stopped midway. Untouchable, she was.

After a moment of peaceful silence, a conversation began.

"Why would they want to waste away?" he said setting himself down on an old machine. The old warehouse was full of old machines use for sewing and repairing clothes.

"I wonder if one day, you'll waste away. She'll die soon, she's getting to that age. Rin, that is. I believe she still thinks it is her fault you died." Kagome said, starting a chain of confusing thoughts for herself to think on.

"You wonder too much, child. She has always cared for others, I cannot rest until she is safe in death. It is what keeps me here, I will not waste away at the snap of someone's fingers." he looked out at the bright full moon. It shined in the magnificence of the night.

"I graduate this year, you know. I won't be able to come everyday." she said, quite pained, another friend would be lost.

"Rin's time is near. I can feel it, she is nearing her time." this talk was just too depressing.

"Listen, I have to go eat dinner, but I will be back again tomorrow." her lips pursed into a thin line, slightly giving away her days agony.

She looked on towards the door. Eri couldn't be replaced the way she wanted to replace her. To forget her. It was wrong to even think of doing something similar. No matter what Laurie's foolish words were, she could never be forgotten. She was after all, Eri.

_"Kagome, do you think people are forgotten once they die? Does everyone mourn their death for a year or so and then forget?" Eri asked looking towards Kagome working at her desk. _

_Putting down her pencil Kagome looks up and smiles. "Of course not, silly. People always remember those who are special to them." Kagome hugs a sad Eri, who is now silently crying. Choking on a sob Eri asks, "Will you forget me if I die?" Kagome is shocked by the question, but does not hesitate to answer Eri. _

_"Of course not, I'll always remember you, Eri. Don't ever think differently." _

Kagome is snapped out of her reminiscence by the deep rumbling of, "You should go home. It's getting late." Disappearing into the wind and into the streets they disperse for the night. "Goodbye to you too, sunshine." Dyli mumbled sarcastically as a gust of hot fresh air blows a halo around her. "I'm going, I'm going!" she quickly says scurrying out of the old meeting place.

Getting home in a better mood, she is once again shot down. Her facial expression became a frown quicker than she could notice once she saw another 'family' member here.

Mrs. Jarlz.

Her mothers lips held tight and her father having a hand draped over her mothers shoulder, had the same facial expression. Smiling sadly, Mrs. Jarlz walked up to Kagome handing her a small green envelope. "Her funeral is in a week. I'd appreciate it if you spoke." with that she let a few tear drop fall down her cheeks. Being Eri's mother, she had taken the worst hit to the heart than all of them. Heading towards the stair case, Kagome nodded.

The room was silent and gloomy with absolutely no movement before Kagome stared emptily at her mother and muttered her excuse to leave. Her second haven besides the warehouse. These two places held all of what she was or thought herself to be. Once again looking outside it had begun to snow. She loved snow, it was so peaceful and serene. This rejection she was feeling tonight was a daily habit. Sleeping was so difficult, Laurie had begun to show up in her dreams, nightmares are a better name for the torture she felt every night. The more she slept, the more Laurie taunted and blamed her for knowing, but not seeing. She had been useless to Eri, let her down.

Over.

And Over.

And Over again.

Now though, she could not help Eri at all, she could not compensate her dreams and hopes, her flaws and achievements at all.

Eri was truly gone.

Kagome silently laid in her bed, silently ate, silently became for the next week. Everyone could only get so far before she blocked off and startled everyone by just walking away. The day of the funeral, a black outfit was all that could represent her mood. She still had nothing to say at the funeral. What could she say? That she could have stopped it, but by not seeing it she had let if off as nothing? The weather. The people. The life. They were all connected somehow. Everyone was sulking, moping, or both, When the time came, they all walked inside for the Eulogy. Kagome replayed every time they had talked, stayed up late, laughed together. Ever single moment they had ever spent with each other. Every emotion she had felt being around her role model, every emotion she had been feeling for the past two years was striking her one pang at a time. They pounded on her, heavier each and every time. Each single sentiment came one by one in a throbbing rush of suffocating breaths. The tiresome heart she thought she'd left behind hammered and began to beat once again. The words flowed without contempt and she felt like she was finally beginning to learn that she needed to grapple her life again.

Eri was and had always been a part of her life, she always would be that would never change. Just as she promised. Laurie would always be remembered for the tradition, for the spirit, for the ability to make all those around her become themselves. Kagome knew of only one way she could express this, put it into words. A poem.

_Another day slowly pegs by;_

_hour by hour, minute by minute._

_No longer an equal pay._

_Remunerate a dream and pay its fee,_

_in a faith with no way._

_Looking through your tear-filled eyes,_

_A reflection of me is all left behind._

_The weary and the tired are always at play,_

_the strong and the willed always a cliché._

_How many things can you say truly matter?_

_Scream from the soul and illusions will shatter._

_From ripples of darkness to ripples of light,_

_Abrogate with me all of your breath._

_You're taking from me my insight;_

_my sapience._

_Some secrets unfold at the hands of death._

_Wait one day longer;_

_abide still._

Eri's mother stood to speak, her father next, and then it all ended. It was silent, everyone understood Eri now. Walking out of the cold room, Kagome started towards her home.

The damp sidewalk was quiet and cold, the light sheet of snow that had accumulated was beautiful in every aspect. The warehouse was covered in white, it was precious, pale like the one that lay inside. She turned and headed home once again. As Kagome neared Rin's house sirens could be heard and bright lights were seen as a crowd surrounded a red and white van. It all happened like a movie; slow motion. The paramedics were trying to get a stretcher through the crowd, they were shouting obscenities at the people so they would move. Kagome's breath hitched in the back of her throat, becoming a constant happening through the years. She had know so much sorrow and so many unpleasant words. She ran towards the van as the crowd parted for her, lying on the stretcher was Rin. Just as Kagome was about to reach out and touch Rin. The crowd closed around her, not letting her out. She cried, not because of death, but because every human took a heartbeat for granted. She cried for the world that would never learn.

She wept for the world.

And the world wept for her...

New chapter?? Yes?? No?? Well, tell me then, OR I SHALL NOT UPDATE! DUN DUN DUN! Tell me what you think, or I shall forever let it rest!


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